Job Application Slang

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect



CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well;
a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you, figure out what they want and do it.

CAREER-MINDED:
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON:
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We have filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.


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